forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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