a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
