we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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