do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Randomize
