Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
