I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize
