and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
