check it out our google latitudes are spooning
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
