How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
So much Jack, so little girl.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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