Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
