problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
