I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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