I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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