oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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