Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
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