I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize