I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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