they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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