just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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