Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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