I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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