Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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