Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
