Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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