nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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