so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Randomize
