I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
there is puke in my bra ... again
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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