Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize