the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
