We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
