'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
