Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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