OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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