No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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