just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
