I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Randomize
