the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
