there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
