so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
