I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
