how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
