I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
