There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Randomize
