Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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