May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
