I think i peed on brittanys purse
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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