Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
