I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
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