I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
