I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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