I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
