do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Did you pee in the oven last night??
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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