Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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