in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
