just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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