This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Text me some of your sweat
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
