He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
