Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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