you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
