But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
